Avoiding the bait

flowing past the hooks on the rod

Photo by [2Ni] on Unsplash

I'd like to think I have an idea of who I am, I suppose I've always had a pretty good idea, but saying it out loud is one thing, but acting it out is another.

But it took more of feeling “this isn’t me,” “that is not how I want to act.”

Being prepared to throw away those shadow sides that appeared around certain people or groups, and trust me, there have been a few. Yes, those sides are still in me, but they get revealed for the right reasons, and again around the people I feel safest with; furthermore, it took some time to figure out who those people were. And now that I know, well, more and more of those people keep flowing into my life, luckily.

No more chasing the approval of others, changing myself to be liked or fit in. What you see is not always what you get because, again, I've learned to hold back some of me for those who I choose to reveal sides to me others don't get to see.

Not everyone will "get you" like you or even want to know you, and that's fine; that shouldn't be a reason to keep you up at night.

Sadly we live in a society where so many are disconnected from who they are, who they indeed are, in a world where so many are "influenced" by others to be a way that doesn't align with who they feel comfortable being, leaving a feeling of disconnection.

And that disconnection over time can fuel such illnesses as anxiety or low self-esteem, and so much more.

We all have a platform in which we get to share our thoughts, our feelings, and our life in 30-second "stories" and reels, photos, and posts, but is it really "your" story, "your" life, or is it just done for others to see, others to comment, others to aspire to? Because if so, we must acknowledge that others will mock, laugh, and share and gossip about it in not such a good and positive way.

Maybe it is resentment, jealousy, frustration, or even fear within them to act this way, but that is their energy, not yours. So why do we allow them to consume so much of what you have worked hard to build?

Unfortunately, this is society, and once we are ok with that and do not let it restrict us from posting and sharing, we can say we are being true to ourselves.

Acknowledging it within ourselves is awareness.

Letting it go without a second thought is a sign of growth.

Adding fuel to it by commenting or making it public allows them to be the fisherman who has felt a tug on the line of a fish caught in his hook.

And we are the fish, flowing carelessly in the river or sea, drifting with the tide, and all is well. Once caught in that hook, the struggle begins.

Would it not be better to swerve that hook where possible and stay in the river's flow?

Is it not better to light that candle rather than curse the darkness?

To cut ties with people who hurt you is a choice and a step one must take, but to cut ties with the version of you who allowed them to hurt and affect you is a much harder thing to do.

This is the work needed to help you find your true self.

Allowing ourselves to quieten the noise around us will expand our sense of self, creating other people and experiences in our lives.

You stop that feeling of being separated or feeling you are "lost."

Finding who you are is a beautiful thing. Still, it comes with a lot of that's not it, that's not who I am, and that sadly comes with hurt and pain along the way, lessons we learn from to help shape us to be the person whom we feel most comfortable with, for we will be around that person the most, more than anyone else in our entire lives.

As always, thanks for reading,

Marcus.