Growing Pains

Why Google is Wrong

"it's just a growing pain." 

This was my parents, and I am sure many others response when I complained about the random muscle pains in my legs growing up.

That soreness, as our bodies grew, but we accepted their explanation as it gave us an idea in our heads we would grow big and strong, and tall (liars)

And according to Google, 

"there's no evidence that growth hurts."

WRONG.

What our parents did not warn us about was the other "growing" pains, the growth within ourselves, when we decide to make by choice.

Those feelings of discomfort, self-doubt, questions, fear, loneliness, and the hurt and pain that goes with that.

The realization that certain habits, actions, conversations, people, and places do not appeal to you anymore.

Actions and behaviors you have only ever known, most since childhood, are not serving you in the best way.

This is the type of growth we did not learn about in school, so as it happens, we get scared and frightened and try to deny it for so long sure it's easier to just carry on as before.

That is why I said this growth within is by choice.

Choosing to carry on in a safe, comfortable state would be so much simpler, but only those that are prepared to look deep within know about that feeling of things not sitting right with them.

Walking away from something that does not help you feel free, something that does not allow you to be who you really are, blinds you from seeing the world the way you truly do.

Listening to that gut feeling, that intuition that keeps burning away at you.

Trusting your gut is the hard part; the easy way is to let that inner critic voice win by telling you, "you can't do it, this is a big mistake, you will fail, everyone will think you are mad, e.t.c."

Prepared to lose those shadow sides of how you think people want you to be, the persona you give off. 

Is this the real you?

Our parents, religions, friends groups, and schooling usually teach us our behaviors and reactions to all areas of life. 

Those people who fed us, dressed us, and put a roof over our heads, to our friends from childhood, how can we possibly think 

"they are wrong, and they see things differently from how I see things now."

From racism to homophobia, language, or how we speak or don't speak toward one another, violence and crime, to the use of alcohol or drugs, we have all been brought up with different experiences and views on all of these.

If we see or are prepared to see this differently or at least change (in a positive, loving way), that is growth.

Learning to love yourself, knowing your self-worth, and doing and saying something that increases your personal happiness is growth.

Facing the fear that you cannot keep everyone happy all of the time, there will always be others who do not see what you are doing as sensible, making sacrifices and changes. 

If self-care means letting someone down, then you must let someone down.

These decisions, changes, and sacrifices are not easy; the easy choice is to stay comfortable and stay safe.

But however scary they are, they are true to ourselves.

Be sure of one thing, everything in life changes; the difference is how we adapt to it. 

And with every change, there is a chance to grow, a chance to learn, that every day we look at ourselves in a mirror and know we did it the best we could, and be gentle with ourselves.

Whenever I hear a person say, 

"I'm concentrating on being the best version of myself."

I think to myself; I hope they realize they will never get there, for someone who is prepared to better themselves each day will always strive to be a better person, a better version of themselves, every single day, there is no finish line.

That is good.

That is growth.

It isn't for everyone, and it doesn't happen with ease.

If it was that simple to do it when our parents or teachers said, "just grow up, will you" (it couldn't be just me who heard that one?)

It is uncomfortable and contradictory to google; it does hurt.

And, of course, it is a personal choice; when that journey begins, it is a daunting project to begin.

But the newfound awareness, that inner peace, and reward from when that process begins are so worth it.

A seed needs water and the elements to help it grow, see yourself as a seed and find the water and elements that work for you to allow you to grow.

Thanks for reading

Marcus.