how a child sees it
Now it has been a while since I went to school, and it has been a lot longer since I went to pre-school, or play school as it was called back in my day, now it creches, early learning, amongst other fancy names for those few hours of peace a parent gets, or allows them to work.
But these places are places that shape us (even back then) on some of the traits and behaviors we develop in our later years.
Now I have always been fond of Mrs. Murphy, my playschool teacher, and remember the house where the early learning took place, to remember that 40+ years ago, she must have left some sort of impression on me.
Glad to say it was all good and fond ones.
But doesn't that enforce the impressions that can be left within a child's brain many years later?
The scribbles and colors on the piece of paper on the fridge resemble a rainbow or exploded paint store, then the dragon or farm animal the child said it was.
And if they say it is a dragon then a dragon it is, because that is how the child sees it, that is how they think it looks in their minds.
The innocent and undeveloped mind started putting pen to paper and this was the outcome (because they told you)
They believe it because when they handed it to their teacher they were not told any different, they were first told
"wow the colors on this are amazing" - a positive statement
"oh it's so beautiful" - positive statement
"There is so much effort and love put into it, thank you" - positive
and many other uplifting and nice comments about the gift, and then the question
"can you tell me what it is" and allowing the child to share their secret.
And whatever their reply is they go with it and allow the child to express how they see it.
On hearing this story from someone amazing at their job working in a preschool, I thought it's those simple things that make a huge difference in a child's development.
And hoping that the same handover to parents or caregivers will be the same, sadly they may not be and this is where confusion sets in, self-doubt, and those little inner critic comments may begin to grow.
Statements of positivity right from the get-go, allow the child to feel it was a job well done, that their effort was acknowledged, and that they did "good".
A child playing with their toys on the carpet, speaking about their imaginary story they are creating, not a care in the world, watching the iPad or telly, fixated in fact where they won't even answer you when speaking, gives the impression they are not taking anything else in, yet the screaming in the background or use of bad language, the chaos between older siblings and parents arguing, or sadly if a parent is passed out on the couch, how does a child who scribbles aimlessly onto a piece of paper and say it is an airplane in their eyes, perceive all of that.
A parent who restricts the use of a phone or tablet yet is constantly scrolling on theirs, a parent who may be on the phone to work all of the time in the home in a stressed state or with a loud or aggressive tone, what does that child see as the right way to speak to people.
Do they just assume that it is normal? do they ask themselves are they to blame for this chaos? When they go in to ask for a drink or treat are met with screams and loud voices or snappy replies.
What is developing inside that mind?
What is the impression we are giving this child of the world, what lessons are we teaching them unintentionally?
Food for thought, as this is not just about the young pre-schoolers, it is the primary school years, and adolescent ones too, for as humans we are always learning and developing, it all depends on who we see as good teachers and the not so good.
Which will bring so much confusion and battles with the mind down the line.
Awareness, mindfulness, and care are just some of the ways we can help and educate those younger than us, and we have an opportunity every day.
So what lessons are you going to give today?
As always, thanks for reading.
Marcus