I have a Troll

Does that mean I'm an influencer now?

So I did a podcast (while in Bali)

A scary, nerve-wracking experience; afraid of saying the wrong thing or fluffing my lines, so of course, I had notes and bullet points to keep me on track.

Five minutes in the flow just happened, and the notes I brought were not needed, thanks to my mate Andy the fantastic host.

But also the topic was firstly about men’s mental health, and my journey into therapy and subsequently as a student in college to become a therapist, subjects I am passionate about, hence the easy flow of the one-hour conversation.

The response, once it went live, was mind-blowing (more on that later)

I received a hidden message or message request the next day (not asking did I want my Instagram to grow or a forex trader), but from an account with no posts, followers, or profile photo.

The message read, " You chat some shit, man. What would you know about mental health over there in Bali? oh, and your voice irritates me."

Now, my inner critic was already in my ear previous to this message, as my voice does irritate me at times, but also, deep down, I was more concerned about what my ten best friends would think about the podcast, let alone this faceless account.

You see, if only it were that simple, if we pack our bags to go on holiday and think,

"Oh, I won't need that heavy coat, those boots, and I'll leave all my negative thoughts and bad feelings out of the case too."

They follow us everywhere and in all situations, but what we can also bring (without the extra airline charges for heavy baggage) is the tools to deal with them.

A few years or possibly a few months ago, I probably would have contacted Andy right away and told him to delete and remove the podcast out of fear that this person was speaking on behalf of anyone who had heard it.

But I didn't let it win this time, and how glad I was about it, as the overwhelming response I had received from so so many others (not from any of my ten best friends either), I knew I had done what I intended to do in the first place, inspire just one person.

To either go to therapy or get a better understanding of it. To help remove the stigma, help ease the fear, to normalize that phrase, it really is ok not to be ok.

To help Create awareness and looking within is something I am passionate about as a message.

That, to me, showed growth within myself.

But also told me it was more about the person who sent it and not about me, some things they need to deal with, possibly a nerve was hit with something that I had said, ignited that fear inside of them.

But thankfully, I refrained from making it about me.

Thanks to self-development and added awareness of myself and the message I was trying to send out.

To help just one person was the aim.

I was lucky enough to receive numerous.

And that was just ONE negative response.

I spoke to friends about this, those with a lot more than the handful of followers I have, who get hundreds of these messages weekly and a lot crueler, and on listening, I appreciated their strong resilience even more than I did before.

If you have a message or an opinion on something, remember it is YOURS, so it is your right to say it, and you might just get heard by someone who needs to listen to that same message too.

If it helps them well, it makes it all worthwhile.

That inner critic will speak to you and tell you not to do it.

Try to put you off and make yourself believe only the negative beliefs.

Similar in a way, if someone has a discount code or has savings on the hotel they have stayed in, people need these codes to save money or teeth whitening strips or toothpaste (trust me, there is plenty of those)

Remember, "a lot" of these influencers do it because they are passionate about a brand or sending out that message, wanting to create awareness about something, so please be mindful of that.

So if I am after influencing somebody to talk to a therapist, to seek help in some way to help look inside them to find the answers to repeating self-sabotaging actions.

To try to discover, embrace and nurture that inner child, to remove the constant negative chat inside their heads, well, then I’ll gladly take that title.

And to the one troll or minimal negative comments, know it is more about that person than me, and wish them well on their journey.

And as Budha once said, "Be kind each day and don't be a c*nt, and use my code #BUD365". (not an actual code)

Thanks for reading

Marcus.