I wouldn't change you for the world

I love you just the way you are

How many time's have people said to you, "you've changed."

"You seem different than you were before?"

Or, you are not how I remembered you, and our inner critic takes over, and we think, 

"Oh No, is that a bad thing?”

"Different how?"

"Am I not liked by them now?"

And generally go into panic mode internally.

Well, same, I did all of that.

Now though, if I am lucky enough to receive an honest compliment like that, I reply 

" I know I have. It's great, isn't it."

Because I know I've changed, I know I see things so much more differently than I did before, have a different outlook on things, and see myself in another way, a more positive way, a kinder way.

In a less self-destructive way, I embrace change and welcome it.

And who did I make this change for? ME.

This was a choice I made for myself because let's face it, who are we around most or whose company do we spend the most time with in our lives? Ourselves.

We, of course, have changed many times in our lives; as we grow up, trying to impress a new group of friends.

The music we listened to generally determined the clothes we wore (the Bros, the Cure, and even the long hair and mullet phase as a Guns n Roses fan, not some of my proudest moments.) 

Even people we thought we needed to be for people to find us attractive and go out with us. 

We do this to fit in, and we do this as we try to figure out who the hell we are as individuals.

Smoking, drinking, taking drugs, and even our attitudes towards work or family members have all been affected by this change.

To stand up and say this is not me anymore, this is not who I want to be, this person does not sit well with me, is the hardest thing to admit.

It is scary, daunting, and sure it is easier to just hang around with those friends who are a bad influence than have no friends at all.

Or stay in that abusive relationship that does not make us feel good for fear of being alone.

Not speaking out and communicating about things that you do not like because of the thoughts of being ridiculed in a group or being made feel stupid and silly.

We all change, we all grow, but it is in our own time that our interests change. They can't all be the same but allowing ourselves to be open to change, embracing it, and being there for one another is the important part.

Encouraging one another to change or grow in the proper manner is not about control or manipulation (as it can be in some cases). 

It is about support and encouragement, being there to mind, and holding that person's space as they go on their own journey, at their own pace.

A lot of my PT pals encourage their clients to gradually increase their vegetable intake piece by piece or step count weekly because they know this way is sustainable and will have a more prolonged, lasting effect, a lot more than those straight in at the deep end six/twelve-week challenges.

It is about changing their relationship with food.

Our lives are, thankfully, a lot longer than that.

Once we decide to make that leap, we do it gradually, bit by bit, to observe, sit with and understand the change within ourselves.

It is about relooking at our relationship with ourselves.

It starts on our own and is a scary, lonely place, but in time, we will find the help and support of others, other like-minded people who are there to go on this journey with us.

Those who we won't need to do something that may harm us to impress or keep in our lives, or make us wear certain clothes or get those hideous hair cuts just to fit in.

THIS JOURNEY STARTS WITH YOU.