IT is ok to say NO.

Boundaries are the highest form of self-care.

Who thinks a day at the spa, beauty salon, hairdresser, or even a holiday falls into the category of "self-care" these days?

A term generally used by those who feel the need to justify spoiling themselves with lovely treats.

And if it is what YOU need, then perhaps they all are.

But possibly the main word to describe self-care is Boundaries.

Setting such boundaries, instilling, and not feeling guilty is SELF-CARE at its finest.

Make YOU your highest priority.

To be ok with uncomfortable conversations, being free to speak your true feelings as a reason for saying NO.

I'm sure before this word boundary was used or explained correctly, the word NO was met with fear and guilt.

NO to nights out or forced to make excuses to save face when the actual reason was something that would be laughed at in your mind.

A friend who always needs your help but never seems to be around when you need assistance, a boundary established allows their behavior to change.

No matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel, if you do, this is even more reason to force a boundary.

Explaining this in detail brings awareness to that person, and from my experience, it is needed, as they generally have no idea they behave like that.

The adverse reaction from people we ask to do better is not about your standards being too high, but possibly that theirs are not high enough.

But setting boundaries is not only about other people; they start with ourselves.

Spending habits, screen time (FYI, these emails are informative and ok), not partaking in gossip in group chats or with friends, knowing when to STOP working, sleep patterns, and appropriate time on social media are all ways we can improve ourselves.

Awareness within ourselves is as critical as that friend or partner told about their behaviour.

Being kinder to ourselves, putting yourself and your feelings first, taking a step back, and one we all are at fault for is not asking for help when needed.

These actions are all SELF-CARE, guilt-free, shame-free requests to oneself if these are what we need.

If something sets off a trigger inside of you, perhaps this is your gut telling you a boundary is needed.

What boundaries will you set this week? And what will you do for YOU?

Give yourself the self-care you deserve.

As always, thanks for reading.

Marcus.

p.s

Just to share mine, last week’s email was the highest viewed and read since I started. Was it because the title had the word sex in it?

It was clicked by so many who have not signed up who said sex doesn’t sell.. so my boundary is this, if you have signed up, you will be able to read this (so thanks again). It would off been in your inbox or spam.

Anybody who has not will only get the sign-in page, and then the choice is theirs.