Mistakes.
When apologizing to someone, how often has it been said, "You are only sorry because you got caught."
And yes, this is true, for should we get away with something, all we would be left with is our internal guilt and shame.
But yes, being found out or caught does bring that awareness to us of what we have done, with heightened guilt and shame, but also with the possible addition of loss, sadness, and remorse.
Whatever the mistake we have made, be it relationship mistrust, lies we may have told, secrets that we have tried to keep, a crime that someone was foolish enough to do, to a past we have tried to forget, should these eventually get revealed, the consequences can be severe.
With remorse and following this, attempts to make amends may take time to build that trust again with those we did wrong.
To prove that whatever was done was out of character and would never happen again.
Finding the courage to own up and say sorry with meaning does not come easy; the guilt, shame, pride, and ego get in the way, placing block after block in front.
All this is only possible when a chance is given to prove they will not repeat the same mistake.
Sometimes the mistake or foolish decision can not be forgiven, and the person is labeled, and it stays with them, and will be forever judged by those who have "heard" what they once did.
They are judged by those who may only know part of the story.
Or by those who may never have made such mistakes themselves.
Awareness of our faults allows us to choose if we wish to live that way or make changes to enable us to be better people.
Not for others or idle opinions but for ourselves and those close to us.
Open communication and complete honesty help move forward after such situations, clearing the air and drawing a line under it once all parties can move past them.
To forgive yet not forget allows the person who was lied to, cheated on, let down, or betrayed is a way of having an inner silent alarm bell should the behavior repeat itself.
But should such incidents or events be brought up in times of anger or frustration, it will not allow the event to be ever forgotten, for it brings up old wounds, old hurtful feelings that sadly can lead to hurt and anger.
We have all made mistakes in the past, bad judgments and decisions, but the learning is in the shame, the guilt, and the trouble we have brought to those around us, those we love.
And if learning is to take place, then it makes room for these bad choices not to be made again. And guide others who perhaps thought about making such mistakes themselves.
What mistakes have you made that lessons were taken from?
Or has someone you know made a mistake they may have learned from, yet we have yet to give them a chance to show it?
Some food for thought.
As always, thanks for reading.
And be kind to yourself and each other.
Marcus.