The Big Test.
The "healing journey," a phrase used quite a lot these days, and for each of us it is so so different.
When we see someone with a crutch or arm in a sling, or plaster on their hands we can have a pretty good idea that their injury is in the healing stage, to repair a cut or even broken bone to muscle damage.
For anyone who has injured themselves knows the pain that this brings, and the healing time and care that comes with them.
But the "healing journey" used or said on social media or in books we read is one more personal, one that is internal.
And guess what as much as others can relate to the pain, they do not feel it as the individual themselves, as it affects us all in our ways, a standard broken bone may take 6-8 weeks to heal with the right care and attention, yet a broken heart brought on by grief from the death of someone close, or a relationship that has ended, these wounds will take a different amount of time to heal, depending on the individual.
We tend to shy away or avoid the "work" to heal at first, stuck in different stages of anger, frustration, and rage and left with so many unanswered questions that we force ourselves to answer, leading to a spiral of thoughts that in turn brings more pain and hurt.
Understanding who we truly are and what we deserve, building up our self-worth to appreciate that it generally was not our fault that the romance did not work out, and if it was, then being true to ourselves to change our old habits and ways and make amends with ourselves to do better.
To forgive ourselves for treating others a certain way, breaking old habits of self-medicating to heal a wound prematurely, when deep down we know it will be short-lived.
Standing up for ourselves to walk away from friends who do not share our same values and beliefs of ways to feel good, creating boundaries with people and family members that give our heads the space they need to feel free.
Finding the courage to walk away from abusive behavior we had seen as normal because it has surrounded us for many years, to believe we deserve better, and start to love ourselves for who we are, not what we own or have in our lives.
Understanding the behaviors and habits of alcohol intake or drug use was a defense or shield to allow us to be free from the hurt we feel within.
These are some of the realizations we come to in the "healing journey"
where we realize who we are, discover ourselves all over again, and be true to how we see ourselves and the world.
And now the test, when we feel we are good when we feel we are ready and speaking from the "I" when understanding our feelings and choices, the test comes when a new dynamic is introduced.
A potential partner, a new friend group, a different job, or a family gathering that may have previously triggered something within us, will the work we have done show with the results in how we feel or behave?
A new dynamic into the mix is the test, to allow us to be true to our self-worth, stay strong with the boundaries we have learned to implement to provide a better feeling and hold onto our self-worth without handing somebody the power to diminish it or take it away from us.
Just like that broken bone or pulled muscle, we must tread with caution before we play our sport or do activities we have been protected from during the healing phase, or that wound that is fully healed before taking the plaster off to expose it, only we can tell when that time is right, only then will be able to do it with confidence that further injury or hurt will not happen.
This is the time that is needed on the "healing journey" and that is the time we must be kind enough to give ourselves, however long it takes.
As always, thanks for reading.
Marcus