The Power of Patience
It is a few days away from my birthday, and the saying my mammy used to say, another year older another year wiser seems to have some meaning to it after all.
For years I have always wanted things to be done yesterday, one of the most frustrating things anybody could say was, I have a surprise for you.
I would to my fault, disregard the kind gesture, remove any meaning from it, and instantly want to know what it is.
The rooting around as a child for hidden Christmas presents to the present day, when I was told not to open my birthday card or present till the actual day of my birthday (I am sorry mam but, thank you, I love it)
But this was an area of my life I could control, I could have waited and stared at the bag and card for a whole 3 days but I chose not to, and I opened the card to read the lovely message inside for I had just spent a lovely morning with her and I wanted to continue the feeling.
Now, this is going off track a little, but trust me it has some reference to my point.
Areas over which I had no control would also leave me frustrated, and sometimes a little annoyed, and agitated, and would have a knock-on effect that would decrease my mood levels considerably. Allowing other people's behaviors and actions to determine how my day or outlook would go. From not receiving a speedy reply in a text or email I had sent off, to persistingly putting up with someone's antics or traits, as I recall (another mammy saying "Jesus, give me patience".
To rely on one thing to happen, for something else to be able to proceed, and pushing all that double frustration onto someone, anyone that came into my path.
Thankfully, I have worked on this over time, and a tagline I have used again and again is we can only control the controllable and that starts with our reactions to things when they do not go the way we had hoped.
The fantasy of our subconscious mind will instantly try to remind us of that time we got let down by an email, or that text we are still waiting on 2 years after being ghosted (I jest)
We all have ideas, plans, and hopes for the way things will work out for us, and should one thing not go to plan it can shift us downwards into a spiral of destruction.
With hurt and pain, loss and grief, they say time is the best healer (noted they do not say, how long exactly) but the steps we take towards that healing, well that IS what we can control. The way we look at the situation and fill our time up, the company we keep, the conversations we have, and the new dreams we make in our head that may not include the person or subject we had been relying on previously.
How we spend our time is one thing, how we see time is another, and learning to appreciate it is an even bigger focus.
One whole year since my last birthday, from an unemployed student, awaiting to go into their final year of college, prepping for a thesis and feedback regarding it, to each result for every module, to the final result.
It seemed like an eternity, but I used that time to make plans for my future ideas.
Battling back and forth, with the relative personnel through emails and form filling with a lot of Not applicable replies, but to kept going for what I believed I was, relying on friends and promises to help with my practice to get finished and being let down again and again.
Without the tools I had learned I could have easily thrown in the towel, given up, and looked for an easier option, something I did not believe in 100% and continued for some time.
Writing in my journal, and observing my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors allowed me to work on them daily, to one day begin writing and working on my journal of tools and areas that I felt benefitted me so much, in therapy and life.
And then the decision to put some structure on it and allow people to read it, await that feedback and tweak it some more.
And less than a year later, I received an email to say my Journal,
"What was, What is, What Now?" is to be published and available to buy on Amazon in a few days or so (more waiting)
But I will sit with that with ease, sit and embrace the year that was, appreciate the tools inside that journal I have used and keep using to help me live and achieve all that I wish for, and to better myself each day than the previous one, and make changes to bring a better future.
Now this may seem like a cheap marketing plug to go out and get yourself one, and one for all your friends and family (that's a plug) but it is more a message about time, having the patience that things will work out when they are supposed to, and once we can sit with it and breathe and let it go, and trust in the process, then that time will happen before you know it.
As always, thanks for reading.
And a special thank you, for all the support and best wishes too.
Be kind to yourself and each other, and embrace the time we have.
Marcus
Lovely ❤