What do others opinions do for us?

I think you will enjoy and love this blog, but there is only one way to find out.

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

Does the opinion of others, does it allow it to bother us, or does it let us form a different view of something? 

If so, why?

Is it fear? Self-doubt on our own beliefs? Is it the unknown?

Questioning our reasoning as to why we would do something, go somewhere, or even go out or continue to go out with someone.

Doing something for the first time or trying a new place to eat, we always look for a recommendation, a helpful tip to save us perhaps an unhappy experience. Does it all take away or convince us how we would feel doing it?

Trip Advisor, google reviews, or even ask a friend?

But does it tell the whole picture as that was "their" experience? 

Their mindset, their why? The company they were with, perhaps just what they ordered, or the time of year they went, or possibly judging a person on what they have heard or thought about a person without any proof.

When we ask someone how they lost weight or their new fitness regime?

Hearing it may seem scary and impossible, the fear of it with just the sounds of it making you feel hungry or exhausted.

Each time I walk into the Irish Sea, something I do every week, and each time it involves small chit-chat with those drying themselves off or walking towards you as you head towards the shore, it starts with the question. 

"How was it?"

The replies vary:

It is cold, or It's fresh alright (usually a sign of very cold), 

aww, it was lovely, beautiful, or stunning, amazing.

But once you hear the word COLD or FRESH, it instantly puts that immediate doubt into your mind, the fear sets in, and you dread those next few steps. But that is how it was for them.

It takes you away from why we are doing this and the real reason and switches it to doubt, and it becomes why are we here, why don't I stay warm and dry, why bother.

On the drive to the beach, the why was clear; the why was because we felt good after it; we embraced the battle with ourselves and got in regardless. 

For we know once we are in there, everything is still, everything disappears, all troubles, all lists of jobs that need to be done, all the pressures life brings us are not there for that very moment, we are still, we are present, and we have won that battle with our minds, the only battle we need to consider.

But that again is my why, my feeling.

But we still listen to their replies, and then all we feel is cold. 

We see their red, raw skin, and we all think of defeat instead if we listen and hear the "feeling" words, such as amazing, beautiful, and lovely. 

And hope that it will allow us to make us feel that way, too.

We instantly think of the negative and only hear something that brings us to fear: the thoughts of being very wet and freezing cold.

But once we experience it for ourselves, we bring it back to the feeling, and we can form a valid opinion: yes, it was cold and fresh, but I do feel amazing that I did it. Yes, I am freezing, but,

I laughed, splashing about in the waves with everyone. I had so much fun.

Yes, we can value other's opinions. We can trust their judgment, but should we allow how they see something or experience what they think of someone to deter or change how we feel about it?

Bringing it back to self allows us to feel it from inside and experience it from our perspective. To form the sincere opinion that matters, our own.

I use an analogy with clients: if two people are sitting in a hospital ward with a broken wrist and leg, respectively, who holds the most pain?

The broken leg may seem more painful to most, yet both are in pain. Both are feeling their pain and those who are not feeling it cannot form judgment whose pain is worse. Both are equally in pain.

Even if they have experienced either break before, how they felt at that time will not help the person in that hospital bed at that very moment with their opinion or advice.

We need to experience it all for ourselves: the lousy food, the horrible service, the holiday resort we choose, to the broken hearts, for it is our mind how we deal with it, our choices in how we deal with what is ahead of us.

Taking that leap will allow us to get that opinion, lose that fear, and get out of our comfort zone. 

It brings us clarity and growth, and I suggest a dip in the cold sea to convey that rather than a broken wrist or leg.

And as much as I stated in the heading, you will enjoy and love this newsletter, only now can you decide if that is true or not.

As always, thanks for reading

Marcus.